I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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