I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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