No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
