It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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