youre lurking in front of me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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