Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
