I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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