DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
