Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My penis needs a shock collar
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
