I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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