he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
