I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
