What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize