You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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