Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
