No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
