How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
