Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
