I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
