You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
