those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
