yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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