franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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