"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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