I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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