found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
