His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
