I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
