you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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