bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Life is so much better after having sex.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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