Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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