you have to choose: penises or morals?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
