nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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