Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
