she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
