if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
