He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
