so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
