His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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