Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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