New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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