WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
