Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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