Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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