And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
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