my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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