A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
