He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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