It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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