your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize