well I can't set my house on fire every night
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
