Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
