And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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