im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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