dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
