brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
