they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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