Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize