he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How does it feel to date your dad?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
