Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
