i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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